


Ghosts of Tomorrow

by bythewillowfern



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-14 05:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16906671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythewillowfern/pseuds/bythewillowfern
Summary: Post Qoaad. Kit thought he was ready to face the inevitable, to leave behind what had been. It isn't as easy as he thought.





	1. Wistful

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and The Dark Artifices. I own nothing except the plot. 
> 
> This story implies spoilers for Qoaad. Read at your own risk if you haven't finished the book.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder said by someone stronger than me.”

“So what do I do now? I don’t keep love around.”

Kit hummed lightly to the music floating from his headphones, newly gifted to him by Jem and Tessa. He was currently sitting on his bed, legs sprawled onto the wall as he lay upside down, reading a book about runes that was a part of his new shadowhunter training. The symbols were intricate, elegantly curved at the ends and he couldn’t help but wonder that – for all of their obsession with war – shadowhunters did have an appreciation for art. 

His fingers curled around the corner as he turned the page coming face to face with a symbol that brought on too many memories.

The entire page was littered with facts and directions, even the smallest amount of free space crammed with information. He supposed that was expected considering this was the most important rune in shadowhunter history. His hands moved lightly tracing the soft curves on the paper. The same curves which lay on the back of his right hand. 

He closed his eyes to the image of a pale hand holding his. A thin black stele clutched in long slender fingers. 

The memory brought on a wistful ache, nostalgia for a time that never was his. He had a family, a home and he was grateful to Jem and Tessa for taking him in. But, despite everything, he missed the LA institute, he missed the Blackthorns. He missed Ty. 

 

“I can’t do this Jem.”

Jem looked up to see Kit standing at the door, hands tightly clenched to his sides. He was looking at the floor, hair dripping into his eyes. Even without looking at his face, Jem could picture the steely expression, the look that all Herondales were known for.

His expression softened and he probed on carefully knowing how defensive and reckless Herondales could be and how Kit was no exception. He remembered Emma telling him about how Kit had protected her, unleashing a surge of power just because the riders said something about his mother. 

“What is it Kit?”, he asked gently.

Kit finally looked up and Jem could see the vulnerability that he was clearly trying to hide behind an ill practiced poker face. To any onlooker, it would have perhaps sufficed but Jem knew from experience that it leaked the turmoil of emotions he felt. 

Kit took up a deep breath and plodded on, “I can’t stay here Jem.”

Jem looked around sharply, remembering the discussion he had with Tessa. They had known that Kit would take some time to adjust to their way of life, to a new home and surroundings. They had attempted to make him feel more at ease, providing him with a computer and iphone so he could retain a shred of the time he had spent as a mundane. But, never had it crossed his mind that Kit would want to leave. After all, Kit never had very much appreciated the shadowhunter lifestyle. He disliked the clave and for that matter, any form of authority. Jem still remembered how much he had protested against living in the LA institute. Observing this, they had assumed Kit would like to live here better. Away from institutes, shadowhunters and their disciplined lifestyles. But it seemed that they had missed something. 

He made his way to the boy and gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

“And why do you think so?”, he asked him tenderly.

At his words, something in Kit crumbled and he put his head in his hands. Jem could hear the light sobs and sniffles coming from his curled up form but he knew they were best ignored.

“I… I don’t know. I just…. I can’t live here. I need to go back to the LA institute.”

“Kit you know full well that the Blackthorns have suffered a lot in this war. They already have a lot on their plate. I am not sure you living there would be a good idea.”

Kit raised his head up and glared and Jem knew that he was about to fly into a rage. The hands which had previously been curled at his sides were now in a defensive position, as if getting ready to attack. He rubbed his shoulders calmly, hoping to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand. 

It seemed to do the trick as Kit relaxed, the tension in his body reducing slightly. A silence settled over them and Jem was just about to get to the point when he heard Kit mutter quietly.

“I need to go back to Ty.”

Kit’s cheeks were slightly red, his face held tightly as if he was afraid of saying too much. It was then that Jem realized exactly what was going on. 

“This is all about Tiberius Blackthorn isn’t it?” he inquired calmly but softly. Kit nodded his head slowly before sinking again into his hands.

Jem exhaled, trying to find words for a conversation he was not equipped to handle. He needed Tessa, who knew how to understand the angst that teenagers always seemed to be a ridden with. Once upon a time, his own parabatai had been a picture of the scene that lay in front of him. Now, years of being a silent brother had dulled his senses. He wished he knew what to say to appease Kit but words would not come.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he found his voice.

“The Blackthorns can’t protect you Kit. You are part faerie – and not just a regular one. You are the descendent of the High King, the prince of a powerful court. The things they would do to find you are nothing short of inhuman. Tessa and I can shield you from them till you are old enough to do it yourself but Emma and Julian can’t. I am sorry Kit but you don’t have an option.”

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say. Kit’s jaw hardened and he dug his nails into his palms, leaving marks that Jem knew would later be bloody and painful.

“You.. You don’t understand. Ty needs me. I was stupid not to see it earlier but … he depends on me. Livvy was the only one who understood him and now she is gone. He could be descending into madness and no one would know. They don’t know he is autistic and they don’t know how to deal with it. The last thing I said to him was that I wish I’d never known him. I need to go and say sorry.”

Jem didn’t quite know how to respond to that. On one hand he knew that it wasn’t feasible. They had just been here for a week and he couldn’t expect Kit to be okay. But, part of him knew that this wasn’t the sort of homesickness that goes away. This was much more than that. Kit’s pain reminded him of the time he had slapped Will, his parabatai, the person he loved more than anyone, in the face. The horror and guilt that had flooded his chest. He had known that Kit and Tiberius were close but the extent of their emotions had evaded him. Now looking back, he could see that Tiberius meant a lot to Kit. He felt guilty for not seeing it earlier.

“He means a lot to you doesn’t he?”

For a moment, Jem thought that Kit would walk out of the room at having been asked such a direct question. Verbalizing emotions was not something Herondales had ever been known for. Will had always had a tendency to bottle them up until they consumed him, until they had destroyed and tortured every inch of his heart. But Kit’s response caught him off guard and he wondered if Kit was perhaps wiser than his predecessors. 

“I love him. I don’t expect you to believe a 15 year old saying that but I do. And I know that he is going to blame himself for me leaving without saying goodbye.”

“It isn’t that simple Kit. Tiberius needs to survive and find his way in the world. You may want to protect him from it's cruelties, to hide him away from the judgment of the masses but that’s the course of life. You can’t shield him away from everyone forever. Do you really think he would ever leave you if you went back?”

Kit drew his breath sharply, his face contorting into a look of thoughtful contemplation but he said nothing.

“You need to train to become a powerful shadowhunter if you ever wish to protect yourself and Tiberius. And we both know that’s not going to happen if you spend these years in an institute which is tired of fighting battles. Tessa and I can try to prepare you for the worlds horrors fast enough for you to graduate on time but I don’t think putting that kind of responsibility on the Blackthorns after all they have been through is justified.”

“I just need to see him once, to clear everything up. And after that, I will train as you say. Just… I need to do this Jem. I can’t let him suffer.”

Despite everything, Jem felt a pang of sympathy for the lost boy in front of him. In a span of mere months, he had lost his father and now faced losing the most important person in his life. Jem had always accepted the shadowhunter way of life. The sacrifices that come with it. But for the first time, he couldn’t help but think that it really was unwarranted after all. 

He found himself agreeing as Kit stood up to leave. His head hung low but Jem could almost feel the tears in his eyes that yearned to be shed. 

Stretching his arms, Jem sighed.

He had to talk to Tessa about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan fiction so I apologise for any inconsistencies and grammatical errors. I have taken creative liberty with quite a few facts to direct the plot. Thanks for reading. Your reviews would make my day. :)
> 
> Also, the song playing at the start is DKLA by Troye Sivan.


	2. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa discovers that the affection she has for Kit has long since made home in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and The Dark Artifices. I own nothing except the plot.

Tessa halted.

Her mind drifted to the conversation she had had with Jem early this morning, when he had woken her up with a cup of warm tea in his hands. The morning sickness had not yet started, but she felt so much love for how concerned Jem had been. He had always been sweet and caring Jem, whose violin filled the air with a comfortable melody that only he could ever string. The notes as clear and deep as his soul. Her heart glowed with the knowledge that Jem was going to be an amazing father. 

 

“I am worried about Kit.”

Tessa looked at Jem. His eyes were furrowed in a worried frown, warm sunlight lighting his face. 

“What do you mean?’, she inquired, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest. Despite having Kit here only for a week, Tessa already felt like he was an indispensable part of their lives. A part which had woven it's way into family. She felt strangely responsible for him. 

Jem reached for her hand and held it tight. She squeezed it comfortingly. 

“He wants to go back to the Blackthorns.”

Something dropped in her heart, making it feel heavier than it had previously felt. It must have shown on her face because he quickly retracted his words.

“Not like that Tess. He misses a specific person for a very specific reason. He wants to go and talk to Tiberius Blackthorn.”

Tessa recalled the black haired and grey eyed Blackthorn, the image of a brown haired girl with blue green eyes standing next to him. 

“Livia Blackthorn’s twin?”

Jem nodded softly.

“Kit loves him.”

Tessa’s eyes darted over to his. She looked at him inquiringly. The idea that Kit could love someone wasn’t unimaginable, but the way Jem said it, it was almost like it was a fact. An unshakable truth. Something quite different from what teenagers are usually versed with.

“But how?”

Jem fell silent and Tessa could hear the faint sound of the kettle steaming. She quickly went and switched it off.

“I see it in his eyes Tessa. I don’t know what happened between them in those few months but whatever it was, Tiberius has meshed into his heart. I don’t know much about Tiberius but what I do know is that this isn’t a finite infatuation. You should talk to Kit, maybe ease his burden. He looks like he has been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

At the time she had nodded. Now, she felt unsure as she stood in front of his door.

Her fist ghosted over the dark ebony wood, knuckles nearly pressed against it’s cold surface. She took a deep breath.

“Kit. Can I come in?”

Shuffling followed, along with the sound of a bed creaking, before the door opened.

For the most part, Kit looked worse for wear. His lips were curled into a thin line, chapped at having been bitten nervously multiple times. Shoulders pressed together, he stood at the doorway and beckoned her inside. 

Behind the strength and indifference he was trying to exude, Tessa could see the furious confusion and disarray. Her mind drifted off to James and Lucie and their teenage years. Emotions were fragile things, like bubbles which burst upon contact. The pressure and tension swirling inside of them finally leading to destruction. 

Tessa made her way across to the other end of the bed where Kit was fiddling with his earphones, trying to look anywhere but at her. Her arms went around him in a motherly hug and he finally fell apart.

The sobs wracked through his body, echoing in the room that was yet to be completely furnished. She gently rubbed his back, trying to soothe the pain in his tense shoulders.

Her heart clenched and ached for him. Motherly love and affection was something almost all children took for granted. Their first words and actions an echo of the people that dwelled in their innocent hearts. Kit had yet to experience this comfort and safety. He was almost 16 but to Tessa, he had never looked younger. Forced to mature into a life he had never even dreamt of in his worst nightmares. It was unfair, how expendable the lives of shadowhunters were. 

The tears finally ceased and he stopped shaking. Tessa gently pressed his back.

“I don’t know what to do Tessa.”

A sense of déjà vu came over her. The first time Will had confessed his love ran through her mind. Kit had the same blue eyes that had always been Will’s most beautiful feature. Their faces often remained stoic and immovable, but those eyes, they always shone with a passion and gave everything away. With the same passion that Herondales always glowed. 

“There are times Kit”, she began, “ when we have to make a decision that is a contradiction between our heart and mind. We think there are only two choices – both extreme and a bit too final. What we don’t realize is that there is a middle path, a path which lies between the choices we think we have.”

Kit finally looked into her eyes and Tessa could see the gears turning in his brain. There was a long silence before he finally spoke, so quietly that she almost didn’t hear it.

“And how do I find this path?”

Tessa smiled, her fingers ruffling Kit’s hair affectionately.

“There is no love more unconditional than the love of a Herondale. They tend to think of things with a sort of finality – all or nothing because they do things with every fibre of their being. But, you don’t have to be physically there for a person to be there for them. People don’t live only as physical manifestations, their essence flows through the lives of people they love.”

Her words had been upfront and sure enough, Kit blushed. Red cheeks glinting in the sunlight. They must have had the desired effect because he broke into a smile. 

“Thanks a lot Tessa”, he muttered quietly. Tessa patted his back. Her hands lingering for a moment as she took him in affectionately. With his blonde hair and blue eyes, he reminded him so much of the time she had spent as a Herondale. Of James' warm smiles and Lucie’s excited chatter. Even as she stood up, gliding out the door, she knew that of all Herondales she had met in her long life, Kit would always have a special place in her heart. 

 

“How did it go?”, Jem asked as Tessa strode into their bedroom, pausing to smell the new kind of potpourri he had recently put together to make their room feel more homely.

She looked at him and sighed. 

“I think it's best for him to accompany you for your visit to LA. It will do him good, tie up the loose ends he left there.”

Jem nodded and went out, probably to call Emma and ask her about it. 

Tessa rested her head against the headrest, hoping that talking to Catarina would help ease the worries that plagued her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't read the Infernal Devices so I apologise for the inaccuracies I may have made in this chapter. Tessa and Jem are probably OOC since I haven't researched enough upon them. Feel free to share if you want anything corrected.
> 
> Also,I am well aware that this is too small for a chapter but the events that occur after this cannot be presented here. 
> 
> Secondly, Kit does act slightly unlike himself by allowing a person to comfort him without any inhibition. After keeping Ty's secret for ages and being wedged between two impossible situations, I think he would finally break under the pressure which is why I made him slightly contradictory to his behavior in books.
> 
> This also happens to be my first fic so I apologise for grammatical errors and repetition of certain words. 
> 
> Your reviews always make my day :)


	3. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty is closing up again, disappearing into a place Julian couldn't ever hope to reach.
> 
> We are all dust and shadows after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and The Dark Artifices. I own nothing except the plot.

Julian was slowly falling apart.

Ever since that fateful day, when he had plunged a knife deep into his father’s heart, he had spent every living second of his life trying to hold everything together. Even as his siblings’ horrified cries had filled the room, crouching around their fathers’ limp form, he had willed the grief away. He had to be strong, for them - for his family.

The Dark War had changed everything, and he had spent years trying to diminish it's scars. Years holding Tavvy as he slept in the tent in his room, sounds of clashing swords and stomping feet continuing to haunt a small boy who had seen too much for his age. Years spent sending letter after letter to the clave, hoping that Helen’s exile to Wrangel Island would be lifted.

When he had killed their father, Ty had lost all control. He bit his knuckles and curled into his body, murmuring the same words to himself. It was as if he had descended into his own world, a world that Julian could only ever graze but never fully be a part of. He had spent sleepless nights sitting on the floor, unable to do anything to help the painful whimpers that came from his brother’s bed. 

But at that time, there had been Livvy. His beautiful baby sister Livvy who had held her brother tightly as he wept, rubbing his raw knuckles gently with so much love that Julian’s heart threatened to spill. She stayed by his side night after night, even when he refused to look at anyone at all. Even when he broke down and tore page after page of his favorite books, ones that he had treasured for years. 

Livvy was the glue that had held Ty together. The only one who could reach into the world Ty had woven in his mind. Who could understand the emotions that even her brother had difficulty placing. Together, they had spent countless evenings making small toys and trinkets, devices to help Ty feel a little more at ease in the constantly moving world. 

But now, there was no Livvy. His sister, with clear blue-green eyes that had shone with strong exuberance, was no more. Snatched away from him just like his childhood. Just like his parents. Just like anything and everything he had ever strived to protect. She had died what felt like eons ago but the pain was still raw and fresh. It hit him in simple ways, like making breakfast and setting up an extra plate, for a person who was never coming back. He would be cleaning the mess in the living room and come across her notes, written in her messy yet beautiful writing. The letters and curves reminding him of her warm chatter and excited smile. His eyes would fill up and it was all he could do to maintain the composure he had been keeping up for years.

The past few weeks, he had been so caught up with the Clave and Thule. So much had happened in such a short span of time that, for some reason, he had neglected to actually deal with anything. As selfish as it was, he had been almost glad, the day the message arrived. It was an escape, escape from a reality he couldn’t come to terms with. With the parabatai curse still clouding his judgment, he had felt so cold and unlike himself, his mind seemed to be losing it's conscience in a way that scared him. At the time it seemed like a good idea, to stay away from his siblings and protect them from the demon he was becoming. 

Now, he wasn’t so sure.

He worried about all his siblings, but his concern for Ty had always been a little more pronounced. He remembered sitting near his bed in Idris, scared of what would happen when he would wake up to a world he couldn’t have conjured up even in the most hellish of his nightmares. 

But, strangely enough, Ty did not erupt into the chaos he had been sure would follow his waking up. 

There was a quiet desperation in his eyes as he had pushed himself onto Livvy’s burning pyre, and Julian had felt so afraid. So afraid that Ty would be lost forever. His fear had been diluted by Magnus’s spell and his own insistence on avoidance but it was still tangible. Following that event, there was nothing. He just disappeared for hours with Kit, who had become some sort of constant by his side. Even he could see the effect Kit had on Ty, the way his shoulders relaxed when Kit was with him. At the time, he had just been glad that Ty was breathing and hadn’t done anything drastic or particularly endangering. His mind had clung to that shred of normalcy, taking the happenings for their face value. 

Now Kit was gone. And it felt like Ty was gone too.

There was a strange broken look in Ty’s eyes, like something had shattered in them. He would be training for hours, before abruptly drawing to a stop and curling into himself. There were no tears, no violence and no words – just silence. His brother was rapidly sinking into himself and drifting away, lost in a sea he couldn’t even map. 

His days were now spent either training in physical combat or reading various shadowhunter texts in the library. Scholomance had been Ty’s dream for years and while he personally wanted to protect Ty from the harsh judgment of other shadowhunters, he knew that he couldn’t always do that. He was happy that his brother was making choices regarding his future, doing what he had always wanted to do. If it made Ty happy, who was he to question the decision?

Julian was curious as to why he had unexpectedly changed his mind. A few days after he had returned to London from Faerie, Ty had come up to him, telling him about how he wasn’t interested in Scholomance anymore. He supposed a lot had changed since, he couldn’t entirely blame Ty for wanting to throw himself into a distraction. 

He was starting to realize that something had definitely happened when he had been away. And that something had been the focus of Ty’s need for control and facts. A coping mechanism for the brutal reality. He remembered talking to Ty after coming back from Thule.

“I have a plan. A plan to fix everything.”

Julian sighed bitterly. Whatever that plan had been, it had failed spectacularly. Guilt was clawing at his chest and he wanted to smack himself for asking Magnus to numb his feelings. The spell hadn’t only taken away his emotions; it had stolen his awareness of the world. In his bid to shield himself as well as the others around him, he had let Ty drift apart. Let him immerse himself into the pit he was in now.

So when Emma came up to him and told him about Jem’s visit and how Kit just might come along, he felt eerily relieved. Kit may have only known Ty for months at most, but he seemed to understand him in a way Julian wished he could. Livvy would be an ever-present hollow in their hearts, especially Ty’s. They had all lost a sibling – which in itself was an excruciating pain. He couldn’t even fathom how it must be for Ty, to have lost half of himself. Livvy and Ty had come into this world together. Their entire lives had been spent by each other’s side, with a connection only they shared. But, when Kit had come along, he had fallen right into step, seamlessly fitting into the bond between them. The world which had been closed for anyone except his sister was suddenly open to a stranger he had barely met. 

As he looked at his brother sparring Mark for the millionth time today, with a frightening madness in his grey eyes, he hoped Kit was the answer to the worry that had been haunting him the entire week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a very well written chapter. I have been trying to imagine how Ty would deal with grief. As far as I could understand, Ty is a person who is easily overwhelmed by too many emotions. He prefers focus and linear progression which is why he would distract himself by pursuing a single goal relentlessly. In the books it had been raising Livvy, now it is probably going to be Scholomance. 
> 
> He is also known to like pressure and the way it grounds him so I made a bold assumption that he would want to replicate the chaos inside his mind in the physical world. That is why I think he would want to train a lot. 
> 
> I don't think I have entirely succeeded in the tumultuous confusion I wanted to describe so feel free to critique this (even harshly if you think its necessary).
> 
> I also think that Julian missed a lot of details that were clearly suspicious when it comes to Ty and Kit raising Livvy. 
> 
> The next chapter will be Kit and Ty meeting in LA making it (technically speaking) the first proper chapter of this fic. 
> 
> I apologise for how underwhelming this chapter is but writing about Ty is harder than I thought it would be. 
> 
> “I have a plan. A plan to fix everything.” is a quote directly taken from Cassandra Clare's Queen of Air and Darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction so I apologise for any inconsistencies and grammatical errors. I have taken creative liberty with quite a few facts to direct the plot. Thanks for reading. Your reviews would make my day. :)
> 
> Also, the song playing at the start is DKLA by Troye Sivan.


End file.
